This week’s topic for My Weekly Contribution is “lust”. While there are countless directions I could take this one, I want to share some thoughts from my perspective as the result of lust.
My parents were never married. My parents never dated. From the stories I’ve heard over the years, my parents were friends. My mom was on the tail end of a bad marriage and my dad was young, wild, and free. They were (and are) both a stupid amount of beautiful. Mom went out for her 38th birthday. Dad was 27 and down to “celebrate”.
Mom wasn’t going to tell my dad. In fact, he didn’t find out about me until I was three months old, but it was kind of inevitable coming from Smalltown, USA. Though growing up with parents in different households was all I ever knew, it left for an interesting upbringing. While it brought me NOTHING but blessings and love from more people than any person could ever deserve, I was treated differently because of it. You see, this was very taboo in the Bible Belt. It was “shameful” for a child to be born out of wedlock, especially when it included adultery.
My friend’s and their parents would (and still) ask when my parents got divorced. I always said plainly, “My parents were never married.” This is not, nor has it ever been, embarrassing or shameful for me, and I do not believe it should be for my parents.
I am the product of lust. I was a gift of love. My existence brought my mom out of a terrible home life and my dad into “real life.” I was a blessing to each branch of family, and every single family member, whether they be “step” or “halves” or “adopted,” has been a blessing in my life.
Our society may be slightly more lenient with situations like this nowadays because it is more common, or at least more openly discussed, but that doesn’t mean that families and situations like mine aren’t still looked down upon or whispered about under the breath of the Holier Than Thous.
As a child, I knew my situation was different than some, but I never doubted that I was loved, adored, or cherished. If anything, I experienced more love, grace, and encouragement than most people because everyone wanted to make sure I didn’t end up screwed up.
Lust is a natural feeling. We start feeling it VERY early in life, and most of us act on it much earlier than we would like to admit or recognize in our young ones. It leads to so many different consequences—total and complete happiness/momentary euphoria, shame and embarrassment, heartache, hope, love, hate, pregnancies, disease, mental struggles, the list goes on. Point being, it is natural. It isn’t black and white. Every situation and result is different. It can end up being a blessing or a curse. Whatever the result is, it always serves as a learning experience. Everyone loves a good ol’ life lesson! (That was sarcasm, for those who don’t pick up on it easily.)
I suppose what I hope to accomplish with this post is to encourage others to be more accepting of situations and lifestyles unlike their own, because you never know what will come of someone else’s “negative” circumstance. Who would’ve thought that a little girl born out of wedlock in the backwoods of Kentucky would grow up to get a proper education, work her ass off, and travel through eleven different countries on four different continents (the list does go on) by age twenty-four?
You don’t get to tell someone that their upbringing or lifestyle is wrong. You don’t get to condemn someone’s personal choices or situations. You do, however, get to show everyone support and encouragement and watch them flourish.
The Humble Lion aka “The Love Child” (affectionally dubbed by my sister as the lust child)
recently on the blog
Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.